2 posts tagged “motherhood”

To everyone who commented. You are all soooo right.

I have always been the type of mom who lets her express herself, who tries to foster independence and individuality in her. I'm not sure why I started wavering recently. But, my eyes have really been opened again.

I knew this all along, I mean it's what I've been doing.
Now, time for some Mommy Bragging!

Maya won a math competition at school, and she won a reading contest, and she already passed the timed math tests they are suppose to be practicing. She's such a little smartie!  :)

Also, for all you parents out there who prefer "positive" discipline, (i.e. no spanking), I have created a group... Positive Parenting! Find it under my "groups" section and go join!!

In other news, I had to work today so my photo of the day is another co-worker. Presenting: Chuck! He is also a professional photographer, and I've done a few gigs with him, and one on my own for him.

Chuck!

How do you let your child be an individual, assert her independence, learn to make her own choices, and instill creativity and yet not leave the house looking like a clown or a homeless person?

This is my battle.

I want Maya to choose her own outfits, I want her to be herself, I want to instill individualism in her, I want her to have her own "style" and not just what I like. I also want her to know that people are more than just the clothes they where, I don't want her to be materialistic or snooty, stuck up fashion police officer when she gets older.

This was easy when she was younger, or in the summer. Mismatched colors, socks on your arms with finger holes cut out, wearing the same skirt every day (washed, of course!) - No Problem! She's a kid and it's healthy for her to have a sense of self and make her own choices. I could deal with the funny looks in the supermarket when she layered skirts over jeans and wore sparkly white "dress" shoes with a ratty t-shirt, or polka dots with stripes and plaid.

She's quite a character, and I just know she is going to make one hell of an adult someday. She's intelligent and funny, creative, caring and stubborn, energetic and independent,  typically a great listener  but still likes to argue,  well behaved but  for sure not  a wallflower or a doormat. She is a social butterfly and makes friends easily, has lots of friends in school and out of school.

But lately, now that she is back to school and in 2nd grade, I've had a huge issue with the clothing thing. I don't know who is right, who is wrong... probably both of use are a little of each. I'm still brainstorming and have come up with a few possible solutions, but I thought I would share this and see if anyone has advice!

I took her shopping for school clothes, let her pick what she wanted (although I did have to give a final approval... no 8 year old of mine is going to be walking around in belly shirts, for example) and even had her trying them on to make sure she liked the outfits and wanted them. She got a lot of cool stuff.

Yet, every morning she comes up with either:

 Wacky combinations... and not "cute, she picked out her own clothes!" wacky, but "OMG her mother let her out of the house wearing that??" wacky. I'm not one to worry about what others think... most of the time... and I certainly don't want Maya to turn into someone who worries what others think. But I can't help the feeling I get when I see her ready to walk out of the house like that!!

Or, she insists on wearing ratty looking "play" clothes instead of the new school clothes.

Or, she wants to wear the same outfit EVERY SINGLE DAY.

And she is stubborn. I can suggest other outfits, yadda yadda yadda, she is hell bent on wearing what she has chosen.

So... do I exert my power as her mother and tell her what she is going to wear, or tell her NO WAY to what she chooses? Or should I just let it go, and remember there are more important things in life, and who cares what anyone thinks or says?

I'd feel a lot better with her dressing anyway she wanted if she were a teenager. I wonder why that is.

Sigh.